Wednesday, December 23, 2009


In review, 2009 has been a slow upward moving trend, through the fluctuations. I've got a new cat living with me. He got donated by the nice woman who cleans for us. Her great grand-son is allergic to cats so Tiger got to stay here at our place.

He's such a cute little terrorist and so well mannered!

I just ignore everything wrong he does and pretend like he's not there. Ususually within 2 minutes he gets down from the stove-top!

There's nothing more stressful than knowing your pillow cases are about to get bit to tatters but that if you shout out there's just more chance it'll happen sooner!!!

He even likes to press the keyboard and track the changes on my mom's lap-top, haha, so far he's alright with me stopping him, but he's just a kitten.

Right now he's eyeballing the Christmas decorations.. oh no.... he has just bridged the gap and is stuck in a precarious location. I bet he'll break the giant pot... OH My god!!!! It survived!! That's miraculous.

Now the fucker is playing with the decorative balls..haha..sounds funny.

Signing Off,,

Merry Christmas


Monday, November 09, 2009

Growth ++

Hello and greetings, reader.


A word that defies itself. Something made from life. The core of each of our being. It is supposed to defy institutions, powers, and situations. Really?

I can't answer for global warming. Our destiny, collectively, is to die.

Personally, though, I have found myself to have over come some situations that would break and kill the personalities of others. I have dedicated a long time for my own personal development. There have been some moments where I cried, long periods of depression, and major upheavals in my ability to cope with life.

The purpose of this post is to outline with as little detail as possible, the power of being a human.

Resilience is necessary in a world that is unforgiving. The weak tend to die off. In this strange society, the weak have made it possible to make a foreign concept live, and thus are living beyond 'the law of the jungle'. The overtly strong tend to become absorbed, and the weak become enslaved by their inability to imagine that situations can be reconstructed and framed in multiple ways. With the right lens, it becomes clear that social engineering is ever-present and relative to a society's inability to collectively 'do anything about it'. Most societies, have had to struggle to gain the ability to voice a single issue of importance through or outside of a currently acceptable avenue. They seem to have undergone serious problems and stressors to their existence, to have developed the ability to lead themselves, but eventually that situation melts back to 'normal' whatever that means. The ever-present fear of all rulers, in my opinion, is of anarchy, and any means of stopping it has been enacted throughout history. And so, we come back, in this circular argument, to society. This society is blessed and cursed by the same thing: Freedom.

Freedom is relative to the amount of imagination a person has within a free society, to do and think and say what is allowed of them within it. What better way of controlling a free society than to encourage and allow outside forces to dictate what is acceptable. Of course, having strong and mentally healthy minds that make their own decisions, is increasingly unfashionable. Only the elite should have this ability. In fact, many roles in society cannot be filled by people who claim to have strong, mentally healthy minds. The rest, who are, by a defined opposition to healthy, are unhealthy, may not be able to cope, and thus need a specific structure and inclination to be 'nannied' and told what to do. Weak sheeple who have given up their humanity for the relative 'freedom' of being allowed to live and eat and fuck without thinking or speaking freely.


Failure is a concept that is relative as well. I have believed for a very long time that I am a failure, either overtly or sub-consciously. However, I have proven to myself that I am actually, successful, and, strangely, I feel successful too. It is not a false sense. There are no physical measuring sticks that hover over us, but if you choose to judge yourself by an external measuring stick, created either by society, your parents, or friends, then obviously, it is very easy to think of yourself as a failure if you can't, won't, or haven't managed to make it to that number, paper, or position.

My benchmark is myself. Am I better than I have been in the past? Invariably, yes.
Does that make me a healthy person? Definitely, Yes.
No one has the right to judge me, though they may, and must do. But the judgement is the application of their own measuring stick to me. So, I can't be measured, and that is not failure, that is, in a different reality, the inability to be measured. Hah! I try my best to not judge people. It is none of my business. I only need to be concerned about my own progress, and the progress of people who ask for my advice.

So, the lessons I have recently learned, though simple, and despite the fact that they are in every self development book, and probably advice given by moms and dads, uncles and aunts, sisters and brothers everywhere, needed a lot of experience to gain.

1) Respect is earned. The simplest way to receive it is to give it explicitly to the people who you expect to give it to you.
2) The easiest way to get no respect, is to expect it without giving any first.
3) The result of this simple procedure for gaining respect, is access to a vast and incredible resource: Another human being's willingness to help and aid you when you need it.
4) Everything is relative: Therefore, consider yourself relative to another, but validate yourself relative only to yourself. Considering and deeply understanding the fact that every moment that you are still alive is a success, then everything you do beyond that is a by-product of being successful at living.
5) Family is the most important relationship to have. To consider having successful relationships without having a solid family one is like trying to pour tea into a broken cup. No matter what you do outside, there will always be a piece of you broken off.
6) Communication is imperative. There are a million permutations of how you can communicate the same message. One of those ways will allow you to be understood.
7) Being understood is the key principle of co-operative life with fellow human beings. Sometimes the problem is that you just haven't learned another's lingo. Being able to adapt to understand what thought-stream a person is in, and to be able to ride on it with the right equipment is imperative to reaching the logical conclusions that are necessary for you to communicate with them.
8) Assertiveness means being able to communicate with an absence of anger, and to be able to transcend self censorship.

These are some of the great leaps of personal growth that I have experienced over the past 2 months. I am very grateful for the people who have allowed me to learn from them, or their mistakes, as I transitioned.

Continuing to grow, I have attained a great asset: Self-Knowledge

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Post 102

gonna buy these when theyre invented

Saturday, August 29, 2009

rap on electro? fuck house
rap on electro? fuck house

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sound Engineering

This upcoming week I have to magic myself an acceptance to the Ontario Institute of Audio Recording Technology (, which is described on the brochure by an ex-student as the 'Harvard of audio schools.'

I don't really know how I feel about that...but Sound Engineering diploma sounds quite awesome, equally awesome to a Chemical Engineering degree, or even a Classics degree.

Despite all the shit I've had to deal with from the past 6 years at uni, I really don't have any more juice to squeeze out of myself for that endeavour, and even though I value its essence and know I could have finished anything, provided I had the right mentality, I am truly looking forward to a real future with something tangible to work towards.

Thank god.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009


So I want to learn how to produce music. I haven't decided where, or how, but I definitely think that I could be excellent as a computer literate, smart, mathematically aware, cool, hard working (when I want to be), man.

I have long looked away from the arts as a proper form of education...but I know where my calling is...

I enjoy the sense of sound...more than I enjoy the sense of touch, or anything else. I think I enjoy my ears much more than I enjoy my mind being rocked by waves of stress from having to write bullshit papers for bullshit reasons. Maybe if I cared about the things I studied more than as a lip service to the ideal of education.

There are no reasons for me to continue torturing myself. The best thing to do is to cut my losses NOW.

To all you critics, if you're out there... I will prove to you that music will not bore me or scare me. I am the man...

If there was a problem, YO! I'll solve it. Check out the mic while the dj revolves it!

Saturday, August 08, 2009


blah blah blah!

I am finished my fourth(fifth)? tour of duty at u of t, with only one casualty.. lol.. myself..

Fucking thing is, I still have two papers to write. I have lots of prapanca around essays...untying those knots of conditioning would be good.

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhh it's hard... I hate this.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Jah Love Protect Us

Live if you wanna live!
Rastaman vibration yeah!
That's what we gotta give!
InI iration yeah!

If you get down and you quarrel every day!
You're saying praeyers to the devils I say!
Ooo!H! Why not help one another on the waaay

Make it much easier!

Just a little bit easier!

Say you just can't live that negative way!
IF you know what I mean?
Make way for the positive day!

Said its a new sign!
Oh what a new day!

Pickin up!
Are you pickin up jah?

Jah love,
Jah love,
Protect us!

Jah love,
Jah love,
Protect us!

Jah love,
Jah love,
Protect us!

Rasta man vibration yeah!


InI vibration yyeah!


Pickin up?
Are you pickin up jah?
Pickin up?
Are you pickin up jah?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Karma - Live if you wanna live!

Basically, Karma is a cause and effect, according to my notes. I think that I am helping myself immensely by taking this course.

Investing energy into positive goals , can I lead myself to a higher self? I used the ideas I learned, today in my daily interaction.

I apply all 7 negative mental states.

Passion for becoming
negative views
and possibly not conceit.

I realise that I still don't know the 4 noble truths by heart. and neither do I know the 3 marks of existence.

My notes are dense

Today, I applied effort, the Right Effort, in order to reduce the arrival of negative mental states. I spoke to someone who was causing me to lose control over my mindfulness.

I seem to always be shrouded by the veil of mental activity that fuses things with the mental activity that surround those things.

Not after tonight.

The idea of mindfulness : According to the buddha, had to do with the recollection of the present. The present to this moment. Now being present in the moment. Which I rarely am, but like being. I crave this present-ness.

I love to know that I am present in a moment. Such as when I am typing and writing for a few minutes I am mindful, haha, I guess.

The metacognition that happens after experiences occur is so quick and subtle, that no wonder you need to train to be a buddhist monk. You have to train to think faster than your brain!

Mastering control of the mind is so important, I wonder why so little people have that as a priority? Is that true? I may be projecting my personality too much, lol

To be able to recognise the process of mental construction as elaboration, embellishment, and conceptual proliferation...

Tony says that Buddha claims it is the source of our suffering and also the way out of our suffering. I believe it.

Tony thinks its bizarre that we tend to think something has to be true because we think it,

I wonder, if that is the key to so many psychoses, then if mindfulness is taught early, would that prevent an increase in psychosis of individuals stuck in delusion?

Knowing that could make a difference, but being able to apply that knowledge, i guess, is where wisdom and monk training comes in handy, hehe.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Correct Behavior

The interdisciplinary nature of buddhism is foreign to the specialised nature of the academia. Somewhat admirable that the U of T has a minor in buddhist psychology.

I am happily using the basic lessons of buddhist belief and incorporating it into my own spiritual growth. I want to establish a dynamic balance of precognizing before reacting to my environment.

Also, I want to strengthen my pro-hoc thinking, so as to allow the present to be directed by the current state of the present, rather than pushing my self forwards along a line of action that is based on faulty thoughts.

Ahh... I wonder about this "correct" behaviour that we're learning about today. I am not sure how easily we can assign a vocabulary to such a blunt and 'un-subtle' vocabulary.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Crumple Zone

The best moment is right before you realise things are about to come to a head.



Crumple zone

That's a write-off.

Goddamn it to fucking hell.

I just breathe in light, and breathe out unconditional love, close my fingers together, and accept the present, hope for a better future.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Gotto have a good vibe

Hey the title says it all. Got to have a good vibe. And I am the first to want to follow that instruction every fucking day. I have advantage of experience on my side, today when my bicycle was stolen, for prime example of meditation being a positive vibration.

I had my bicycle stolen and felt like a victim. I looked for a perpetrator and decided not to blame myself for its theft. After I pissed on the urinal I decided to breathe in light, and breathe out mother fucking uncoditional love to that son of bitch! And I felt warm red heat coming out of my wrists, and my tension eased and radiated in the form of uncoditional love!

I had the ability to dispel my shock and face an anomaly to my day such as my brand new store bought 6 hour old bicycle getting stolen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it within 20 minutes of feeling victimised, able to maximise my control and emit the emotion as love rather than hate.... It was strange like walking in snow on a 20 degree warm sunny day with your top off and fur boots on your feet.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Awareness and self knowledge

It's interesting what I'm learning in class, about hatred of things vs. seeking things are both delusions and the equivalent of approaches that go to extremes and don't make us happy.

Yesterday I identified some parts of my 'conditioning' or 'knots' as we are referring to in class, in the phrasings of activities that give me a low ache when I don't perform them. The knowledge that I 'should' be doing my homework, between 10am -12 pM and that I 'should' wake up by 10 am to do it, really causes a disruption when I wake up at 12 pm and feel a low level of self-degradation/ self-punishment for failing to meet such 'easy' targets.

I identified that one of the things that I have categorised in my subconscious as a 'should' is that 'I should be happy'.

One of the other shoulds is 'I should' follow a schedule. For some unclear reason, when I 'should' do certain things without a relevant state that I want to attain or condition myself to attain, then things that I 'should' feel or do or think become unattained, and thus linger in a low-lying tingle of dissatisfaction and the sense of reaching for ideals of 'shoulds' that may be impossible to reach without super-Delanian strength.

The idea of authentic happiness is something of an undefined state of being and comes from an unusual source, and I think it is self-defined happiness, that is the closest I can come to understanding the idea. I have to think that if I am happy for a self-defined reason, whatever that reason is has to be a 'want' rather than a 'should'.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I am talking about my favourite man of the moment Buddha and I'm talking about him in a class, where I have no fucking clue about both Buddhism or Psychology. the great thing is that I don't have to give much concern for the two topics, as the info will be provided. I simply have to assimilate it and perform some sort of scientific study of what intersections there are between buddhism and western philosophy.

Buddha makes me think good

I am quite excited about having had my first day at university. The best thing about it being that I am as excited as I was about starting school back in 2006 when I left the horrible and deathly squalid education labor camp known as chemical engineering and started studying something that actually interested me. I am so much better off taking my time, finishing my undergrad, taking 8 years so what? I don't give a fuck.

Today I learned some similiarities and differences between Buddhism and western Psychology, that we are talking about the most basic concept of buddhism and its intersection, without the aspects of supernatural or religion.

The biggest thing I learned today was that we are meant to 'untie the knots' that we are conditioned to have and that self delusion is not something that a buddhist mentality can call healthy. So if my idea of life pursuits was to have a career to reward myself with endless gifts of material items, that can be considered a source of unhappiness from knowing that these may one day be taken away from one.

Ah I also learned that some gurus are not as innocent as they seem and are capable of doing horrible things to their students.

The day ended with a bang, since I saw all sorts of friends, and had a great time in a group. I couldn't put myself to bed early enough, so I am wanting sleep now.

I decided to listen to some good music that I love,

Monday, April 13, 2009

Blogging, one, two, three,

I read an essay about Artificial Intelligence, in a book about artificial intelligence, published in the 1980's. I don't remember the name because it was typical and called "Artificial Intelligence" There were many debates about AI that have been thrashed for the past 20 years.

In the essay, an argument about how AI should be conceptualised, in the chapter called AI and Philosophy, I stumbled on a description of a hypothetical situation of a man who wants to freeze himself and come to life 400 years in the future. In between that time, he would want to stay micro managed, alive for 400 years and be unfrozen in a safe situation at the end of his stasis. Since he needs something to take care of his body he creates a protective, intelligent machine, with enough capacity for making decisions to make sure his body is well fed and lubricated, through acquisition of resources, and security.

The machine also takes care of itself and takes measures to make sure it doesn't die or lose out on scarce resources should other people want to live to be alive in 400 years as well, and design their own protective AI's.

Then I diverged from the essay and started to think about myself as an AI capsule for genetic matter, which was lying dormant and trying to transfer itself from period to period, starting from the beginning of time, mutating gently but attempting to preserve the core of my being. I was intrigued.

I had to stop myself in order to remember that this was an imaginary example. However I did enjoy very much, for a moment, thinking "This is the answer: The meaning of life!"

The meaning of life is to procreate?

Now that's a funny thought

I love that liberating moment when I thought I had figured it out, but I chose to protect my mind and keep in mind that it is only a metaphysical exercise


Dr. Oats

Saturday, February 07, 2009

You need a budget

February 4th, 2009 in Money
Why Most Budgets Fail but YNAB Succeeds from Lifehack

You have no money

Chances are at least one of your New Year’s resolutions had to do with money. So how are you doing on your budget?

I can’t count the number the times I’ve created budgets only to throw in the towel and decide that they just don’t work. Usually my frustration is due to any of the following:

1. The amount assigned to a category just isn’t realistic. After figuring the numbers and seeing I had a little distribution problem, I determined I could eliminate entire categories or set them unrealistically low. I let my excitement and determination to save money and get out of debt cloud reality. Amidst visions of picking up second-hand clothing at Goodwill and planning to cook all meals from scratch using basic pantry staples and spending $100 a month on groceries, I just knew I could make this strict budget work! A month later I was discouraged and feeling like a budgeting failure.
2. Projected income for the upcoming month never manages to be close to actual income. If you’re salaried, this becomes easier. If, however, you’re an hourly employee or an entrepreneur, it’s much more difficult to predict what you’ll make next month. Without fail, a project will fall through, you’ll have to take days off work, or whatever. I’m sure Murphy has a law about this. Just know it will happen.
3. Projected expenses are never accurate. If you do manage to come near budgeted amounts in many of your categories, there will be some unexpected expense that hits you and throws the whole budget off. Your car needed a new radiator. Your child had to be taken to the urgent care center.

Once any of these things happen, it can lead to questioning your entire budgeting philosophy. If you suddenly need to pay toward your insurance deductible this month, do you then take that money from another category? Eventually budgeting can seem like a science that is only for those who have some special know-how, a surplus of income, or are likely living in straw bale houses and making cheese from their goats. All-or-nothing syndrome sets in, and you determine you’re just a free spirit, incapable of being fettered by the tedious nature of budgeting. It occurs to you that since you have some debt already, what’s a little more debt going to matter?

How I stumbled on the software You Need a Budget (YNAB), I cannot recall. I imagine it was likely in my search to find answers to these basic questions above. Spreadsheets, budgets on paper, Quicken, Microsoft Money–all of these just weren’t addressing my budgeting issues. After perusing the web site, I decided had nothing to lose by downloading a trial copy. After only a few days, I was so impressed that I purchased the software.

While you’ll find that YNAB has the same features of charts, graphs, downloading statements directly into the software, etc., that software like Microsoft Money does, you’ll immediately note that YNAB has one major difference: It actually gives you a plan with education and support to help ensure your success.

The YNAB Plan

1. Stop living paycheck to paycheck. That’s what all budgeting advice says, but YNAB takes a different approach that I think is the key to making a budget work. With YNAB your expenditures in the current month are based on your last month’s income. So there’s no guesswork about what you think you’ll make or spend next month. You’re working with what you have.
2. Give every dollar a job. Since you’re working with last month’s income, you will be portioning that money to categories. Every single dollar will be planned for a particular category (or job).
3. Prepare for rain. It only makes sense to set aside money so those unexpected expenses don’t crash your budget.
4. Roll with the punches. I like this one. It promises you will fail! Failing is part of the program. Microsoft isn’t going to tell you that. How many times do we quit because of an all-or-nothing tendency? YNAB makes small adjustments if you overspend in a category. And since failing occasionally is part of the program, you can pick yourself back up and resume your budgeting, knowing you’re still on track.

The company further supports you by offering a free PDF book (upon purchase of the software) and free videos and information on topics of budgeting.

One of the keys to the YNAB philosophy is that you must get a month ahead on your income in order to have last month’s income at your disposal for this month’s expenses. This is the hardest part, but if you look at it as a challenge and take joy in watching your savings grow, it becomes easier. Accumulating a month’s savings is expected to take several months.
A Chat with Jesse Mecham, CEO and founder of You Need a Budget

I have my own ideas on why budgets fail, but I was curious to see how Jesse Mecham, CEO and founder of YNAB, would answer some questions related to YNAB and the challenges of budgeting in general:

Q: Jesse, what gave you the idea to create YNAB with a budget based on last month’s income? I am unaware of any other software that does this.
I was using spreadsheets before marriage, and then after becoming married, I had this idea. I knew I wanted to assign money to categories, but I wondered how I could possibly know how much to assign without overdrafting or getting ahead of myself? When asking someone to create a budget they often don’t even know what they’re spending in the first place. If you go over budget, just keep moving.

Q: So what would you say is the reason that most budgets fail?
The biggest reason is people don’t see a reward that matches their work and their input. So there’s a lot of work and thought up front, and for most people the budgeting process is fairly unnatural. What happens is people don’t see the results they’d expect from the work they put in. It’d be like eating really well for three months and not seeing a change.

Q: How, in this economy, can people get a month ahead in income? Is that advice still feasible? This seems like the hardest step.
It’s definitely is the hardest part, and with the hardest part comes the most rewarding part as well. Consider sales of belongings. The goal is not so much having a month saved. What you’re really trying to do is just last an entire month without touching that month’s paychecks. Look to your current employer first; do some overtime. Most of the time it’s people ridding themselves of clutter that makes the fastest progress.

Q: I was using your software before being surprised with a diagnosis of cancer in my 30s in 2007 (I’m cancer-free now, thanks). For individuals and families facing major financial crises, what advice would you give them for making budgeting work when there simply isn’t enough money available for expenses? Can YNAB still somehow work for them?
That is tough. First, make sure every dollar has a job. There are parts of the budget that can be done even if you’re in the red for long periods of time. No matter what you do, still record everything you spend. Maintain some awareness as much as possible. When people get in emergency mode, they lose control and awareness. The best way to fight back is to simply record what you’re spending. It’ll rein you in much quicker than not doing it at all.

Q: Your web site states that YNAB makes small adjustments to your overspending. How does it do this?
YNAB is like a virtual envelope system. The software wants you to maintain your savings but still have money for Christmas or your vacation you just borrowed for, so when you bring in money for the next month, you take that wad of money and drop that back into other envelopes that need replenishing. Every overage is automatically deducted from next month’s income.

Q: I do see you have a 60-day money back guarantee. Do you also have a free trial?
There are both. The trial is not advertised. People were getting the software and not understanding the why behind it. Weekly webinars are available with a live teacher to see. However, if readers want the free trial, they can go to .

Q: It doesn’t appear that YNAB automatically downloads transactions from financial institutions on a regular basis. Is this feature coming?
Technically it’s not very difficult, but it is very expensive. That expense would either have to be passed on to the customer or we would have to find another revenue source to support it. Banks and credit cards want to keep us separate from what we’re actually spending, which is contrary to YNAB philosophy because it reduces awareness. The feature is planned, but we also want the customer to look at the methodology. As far as time lines, the new Mac/PC version is first priority. After that, we would look at implementing automatic downloads of transactions.

Q: I see that you have the guide in the form of a PDF file. I really like the idea of a paper book. How long before this is available?
I’m currently trying to see where the book is fitting the overall system. We are considering a paper book.

Q: Are there any new features in the works that you’d like to share?
Our next software version will be using Adobe Flex AIR technology. The methodology will be the same, but the design will be different. The interface will be easier to use. Reporting will be much more dynamic and flexible. We hope to have that in beta in May/June.

Q: Is there anything else that we haven’t covered that you would like to add?
If people don’t want to worry about the 60-day money-back guarantee or purchasing the software yet, I’d recommend they just sign up for the free budgeting course at It’s not a sales pitch. In 10 days people walk through the methodology and get down to the nitty-gritty of budgeting, money in relationships, why cash flow is sometimes so stressful, how it can be made easier, talk about rule number four, and discuss why people don’t talk about budgeting.
The Downsides?

I haven’t found many, but they are:

* No integration with a handheld device. If you like to enter purchases on the fly on your smartphone, it can’t currently be done with YNAB. According to Jesse Mecham, YNAB wants to store the data online so people can get to their transactions and category balances through possibly an SMS approach, mobile web interface, and/or an iPhone application perhaps the middle of this year or later.
* Since the company has never taken any funding or loans, some major features like integration with a handheld device tend to take a bit longer to roll out.
* YNAB Pro is not Mac-compatible (the basic version is). However, a new Mac and PC version is expected to be available in the summer of 2009.

The Bottom Line

YNAB’s philosophy and software features combat many of the reasons bugets fail. It’s inexpensive, bug-free, and worth checking out. YNAB ($24.95) and YNAB Pro ($49.95) can both be downloaded from The software comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee. If you want to try it out first, a trial version is available at Both YNAB and YNAB Pro include a free copy of the PDF ebook “The YNAB Way.” The Pro version comes with bonus features, such as a car maintenance schedule, income tax
forecaster, and more. The developers are very responsive to customer feedback and will support you with visual and written materials that help you understand the psychology of successful budgeting.

Six Months

" If you had only six months left to live, would you do what you are doing now?

You can only answer “yes” to this question if what you are doing matters to you. Doing what matters to you is a sure way to excellence since you will do it with all your heart. But you need the courage to be different and follow your heart. Do you have it? I hope your answer is yes. Life is too precious to be lived in mediocrity."

Life Hack is where I got this inspiring quotation.

Today I left my house and traveled with a purpose: Down to the Skate rink at Mel Lastman Square, with my snow pants and Hockey skates. I skated around for 50 minutes and had a wonderful time fulfilling my wish. I was really happy. Sometimes I almost fell but it wasn't as bad as my first trial on ice, last year.

I wonder what would happen if I tried to live for six months and acted as if each day was going to be my last? bah, depressing thought.

I've got too much baggage to be living on the 'six month plan' but really, if it improved my life, I think that six months would be a great period to spend...doing stuff.

In the past I've not finished the starting of any tasks or the finishing of any tasks with the period being six months. Uniquely, I have to say that I have lived the life of a habitual procrastinator. By contrast, I believe most of my friends and colleagues have given up their experimentation phase and 'settled down' into a mundane life.

Most of us who have been bred on a life of adventure and action have really little to gain from living within a reality where adventure is at the expense of everything else, including love, family, friends, and happiness.

I am so lucky to have made friends with people who are true adventure seekers.

I think most humans are in-built adventurers, but it just takes a leader to push the person into a cycle of adventuring.

Myself, I love adventures. I love adventures so much that I've had thousands of awesome adventures already. I've traveled to foreign countries, I have friends living on four continents, and I have journeyed within myself and out again. I'm just twenty three. I don't think many people have had the opportunity to have as much adventures as I've had. But probably many people have had totally different types of adventures from mine.

Some times adventures end up badly, and the result is a period of recuperating from injury and mistakes.

So: It would be irresponsible and self destructive to actively work through a 'six month' adventure while knowing that afterwards the next period of recuperation likely won't be of the victory party type.

Therefore I am back to where I was, wondering where the hell I'm going to drift on my boat in the sea of life.

I love metaphors, and figurative language. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee making up pictures with words. So I have a great picture in my mind:

I've been running around swashbuckling on an adventure towards the islands and interesting lands of merriment and, having narrowly escaped the jaws of the sharks, the life I've been living has been a type of boat without a sail, stopping off at different islands trying to best refit my boat to sail. I suddenly beached on an island where I have enjoyed the hospitality of the land rather too much, and sea faring adventurer that I am, have begun to feel for a new adventure. I am wary, knowing that I have grown complacent on land, and, even though I am experienced as a mariner and warrior, have become very reluctant to embark on a new journey with undoubtedly many wars and battles to push through victoriously.

Rather than a lost sailor, like Odysseus, I need a path forwards and to use my knowledge to avoid the danger signs that Have littered the path I have come from.
Mainly, to be a six month adventurer, I would need a six month destination. The nature of life is that destinations are tangible or intangible, but journeys are growth and some people want growth to occur at a rate that is quick as possible.

I am taking my own time but maturity is a nasty word in these here parts and no one ever wants to be considered ' mature ' unless they know that they're mature for their own life reasons. Mostly this means money, wealth, power, status, family.

Well, Adventurers don't need to be mature, they just need to adventure. Some die on their adventures, while others mature on theirs. I know that I'm rambling. It is the point of an adventure to ramble on to some where while pursuing an over arching goal. Right now, sitting in my island, recuperating from multiple shipwrecks, I have lost sight of my goals. In Odysseus' journey, Homer presents the audience with many opportunities for Odysseus to get lost and forget his destination: Home.

Buddhists think that time flows backwards, and that everything has happened already, we are living life backwards through time. If I were able to look into the future and pick out my end point, and then come back here to the present, I would be able to live backwards in time into the future doing everything necessary to be where I will inevitably end. Seeing this trend work out the other way, if I continue to waste away, then I will turn in turn be wasted.

In contrast, if I don't have any end point, then what is the point of not wasting and thus doing? When I am able to put aside these existential questions and decide to live, actually sustain myself, then the question becomes obvious: There is a point when it is mandatory to become involved in society simply in order to eat and sleep in peace. Artfully, it is usually the forward seeing people (Prometheus) who understand that to open Pandora's Box is definitely in hind sight a mistake. But one who is able to take advantage of that opening is able to squeeze past fate and make his own fate.

The conclusion here is :

If you choose to assume that for the next six months, each moment counts towards life's timer then you have created a fate that makes those moments count. It's the squandering of those moments that are so awesome too. It is in the losing sight of the end point, where moments are wasted and the future becomes muddled in the quicksand of the past. Once woken, most people fall asleep again. I must wake up finally and pull the future from the magic hat of the present.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009


To get a grip I've been encouraging myself to wrap the handle of reality with grip tape. This is a great time to mention that grip tape is usually sufficient to improve a hand grip, but without any technique then the tape is wasted.
So I'm left wondering what the hell to do about the technique which I'm leading my life. I'd been practicing life quite un-ergonomically for a long time. Certainly got a repetitive stress syndrome which would imply that my tendons and ligaments are wearing out. This is only toward the mind, though. Things going on have rehabilitated my mental wrists.

I am encouraging myself to practice more ergonomically correct methods of life. Too much pressure at the wrong angle, and you're bound to snap! So no more snapping

Friday, January 16, 2009





Wednesday, January 14, 2009


It is my humble opinion that Israel's bombing and invasion campaign is an effort to spend spend spend! Into the new year with lots of shiny bombs and bullets, hoping to raise the fortunes of people caught up in the financial crisis.

I could be dead wrong

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Supreme Commander

I would like to promote this Lemur as supreme commander of the world. Any Objections? No? What about you George? No? Good. Everyone give a warm welcome to Supreme Commander Zorg.

Friday, January 09, 2009

World Government

I have one thing to say about World Government -

At the current level of global intelligence, where people have been intentionally dumbed down, after globally being denied access to high quality education, and being fed a staple diet of ridiculous and false impressions about who they are, why they were born, and what their purpose in life is, I must say that there will be no acceptance for a world government.

On the other hand, if the power of a world economic collapse is so strong that world politicians can all be convinced to follow a path of least resistance and lead their people to be governed by a global authority, then there can really be "World Government", usually, this situation is called an empire, and commanded by the most powerful, ruthless, and bloodthirsty person on earth.

Are we at the onset of another "Clash of Barbarians"- wars among peaceful peoples, led by hateful and selfish groups who are able to demonise that which is unknown?

Do we have the courage to collectively acknowledge that each "regional authority" or Government has been globalised into oblivion when it comes to defending people from corporate interests? In other words, eroded for the purpose of selfish corporate and militant rape of land and people rather than the good health and happy life of human beings who live in those regions?

The power of money disappearing might yet be a force of unity, but only when we understand that there is no such thing as money. When lawyers become broke, and out of business, and when companies cannot sue governments, and when people who run governments are not the same as people who run corporations, then maybe that might convince people that they should join forces and run the world together. However, probably more likely, that is a crazy scenario and top level people would rather undergo wars and destabilising struggles to maintain their fragile hold over the world and continue their bizarre ego trip.

The way forward towards a well lived world is when people are able to quantify their lives outside the realm of money.

EUOUUUUCKKKHHHH I hate myself for having typed this out. But it's really true: We may, one day, find ourselves relying on human kindness and sense of duty rather than
money to pave our way forwards in time.

Back to the topic, there is no way, at the current level of average global intelligence, emotion, and indoctrination, from leaders to followers, that we are in any way ready to accept a global, responsible, system of authority.

Whatever the system, there are always ways to bend the rules and go around the regulations and the constitution. The times change, people change, we forget that life is not theoretical all the time and that people are always able to break their programming, at one time or another.

Enabling systems in half the world where people are encouraged to bend rules, but believe that they are following theories. Then maintaining faulty systems in the other half of the world, where even the people who make the rules bend the rules, has led to an irreconcilable situation.

Our current world may be a mere rebound of global powers towards showing the world who's boss through a monetary beating. Rather than a global military dictatorship, which may come soon, anyway.

For a world government to operate fairly, there must not be any money involved. Motivation should come instead, in the form of pleasure.

(These are my musings)


In reality, there is magic, this magic is called money. With money, some people can be made to do anything. Some people kill for money, rob for money, and steal for money, thinking that money will give them the magical power of money. However, after a while, they eventually realise that magic need a wand. This wand is authority and power. If there is no trained wizard able to wield this wand of power then effectively, there is no more magic. There is money but no magic.

_Dr. Oats

Clever Bankers

I just read something wonderful in this analysis about why the global economy is in its current state.


"To put it in crude terms, for much of the past decade, millions of Chinese slaved away on near subsistence wages and still managed to save, both as a nation (China swanks £1,400bn in foreign exchange reserves) and as individuals. And to a large extent they were working to improve our living standards, because they made more and more of the stuff we wanted at cheaper and cheaper prices - and clever bankers took their savings and lent the cash to us, so that we could buy the houses we cherished, the cars we desired, the flat-screen TVs.
This imbalance - between the savings of China, India, Japan and Saudi and our indebtedness, between their massive trade surpluses and our deficits - was never sustainable. At some point, the Chinese were bound to say, “we’d like some of the cake now please, which means you’ll have to have a bit less”.
Tragically, they toiled for our prosperity – or we lived high on the hog while they fattened the pigs for us – for too long. Which is partly why the return to equilibrium, to a more balanced global economy, is happening in a horribly painful way that's impoverishing millions of people.
For me, therefore, the most important event of the past week was the chastising of the US Treasury Secretary, Hank Paulson, by Zhou Xiaochuan, governor of the Chinese central bank. Zhou said that "over-consumption and a high reliance on credit is the cause of the US financial crisis" and "as the largest and most important economy in the world, the US should take the initiative to adjust its policies, raise its savings ratio appropriately and reduce its trade and fiscal deficits."
This seemed a pretty unambiguous statement by the Chinese that they're no longer prepared to finance the spendthrift ways of the US and UK: they don't want to lend more and they want to be confident that what they have lent won't disappear in a puff of bad debts and inflation.
So the big question is how much debt will"
Robert Peston - BBC's Business Editor

The rest is in this pdf file

I hope you enjoy reading it.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Are we a bunch of passive citizens?

I can't believe that the government has been hijacked. Can you dig it?

Friday, October 14, 2005
Passive citizenship
People who are unhappy with the excessive power of government, centralized at both national and local levels, sometimes ask in exasperation “who is promoting this illiberal, anti-democratic system?”

The answer is, of course, we the people. Or, perhaps more precisely, we the voters.

Anyone who has ever stated that the government or the council should do such and such is promoting the system.

Anyone who has ever said that individual people cannot be expected to take the right decision on, say, health or education is promoting the system.

Anyone who has decided that he or she cannot be bothered to take an interest in what is going on with the defence of this country or to try to understand what powers have gone from the British parliament or the British courts to the European Commission , the Council of Ministers or the ECJ is promoting the system.

Democracy, as my colleague Richard North is wont to say, is not a spectator sport. If you do not become interested in politics, politics will become interested in you.

The most effective way for politics and politicians to become interested in you is by creating ersatz political structures that appear to be “of the people, by the people and for the people” but are, in reality, controlled by the state and its minions. This is called creating a civil society and the first successful practitioners, unsurprisingly, were Lenin’s Bolsheviks when they came to power.

Needless to say, Hizonner the Mayor, who is convinced that democracy in London is best served by him acquiring more and more power without any checks or balances, is a great believer in this process.

A seminar is being run today in the Great Glass Egg, home of the Greater London Authority and of the ever more powerful Mayor, on “Active citizenship”. There is only one problem with that idea. People who come to a seminar to be told what to do in order to be active citizens are not actually practising that. They are passive and obedient recipients of instructions and ideas about politics and democracy.

In fact, what they are becoming involved in is passive citizenship, which seems to be our fate in this country for some time to come.
Posted by OneLondon at 2:08 PM

Welcome Back!

Hello world!

I just came back from a huuuge trip! I had ZERO plane troubles and ZERO luggage issues. Throw that in with plenty of exercise, good food, fun in the sun, and no trouble with the law. Add a pinch of moral rectitude and personal discipline. Mix that in with a successful non-smoking lifestyle, and you get a terrific holiday! Makes for a great portion of family bonding and maintaining friendships with cousins and relatives.

I am back and 2009 feels like it's begging to be a good year: I choose to make it a good year, and I'm going to have fun during it, and I'll be happy when it's over.

There is a small issue of career, education, and money. Always something to keep us on our toes eh!

Quick Survey:
Politically: Down
Economically: Down
Strategically: Up
Militarily: Down
Health: Up

Now 2/5 ain't bad!

I predict for 2009 that Canada is going to be a hilarious place full of political upheaval,( what with the parliament forced to close for a 'cooling down' period and now coming back for a running start in opposition of the government)...

Stay tuned for allegations of corruption, and a delicious slice of nepotism!!!! Gotta love it!


Dr Oats.