Monday, November 09, 2009

Growth ++

Hello and greetings, reader.

Destiny

A word that defies itself. Something made from life. The core of each of our being. It is supposed to defy institutions, powers, and situations. Really?

I can't answer for global warming. Our destiny, collectively, is to die.

Personally, though, I have found myself to have over come some situations that would break and kill the personalities of others. I have dedicated a long time for my own personal development. There have been some moments where I cried, long periods of depression, and major upheavals in my ability to cope with life.

The purpose of this post is to outline with as little detail as possible, the power of being a human.

Resilience is necessary in a world that is unforgiving. The weak tend to die off. In this strange society, the weak have made it possible to make a foreign concept live, and thus are living beyond 'the law of the jungle'. The overtly strong tend to become absorbed, and the weak become enslaved by their inability to imagine that situations can be reconstructed and framed in multiple ways. With the right lens, it becomes clear that social engineering is ever-present and relative to a society's inability to collectively 'do anything about it'. Most societies, have had to struggle to gain the ability to voice a single issue of importance through or outside of a currently acceptable avenue. They seem to have undergone serious problems and stressors to their existence, to have developed the ability to lead themselves, but eventually that situation melts back to 'normal' whatever that means. The ever-present fear of all rulers, in my opinion, is of anarchy, and any means of stopping it has been enacted throughout history. And so, we come back, in this circular argument, to society. This society is blessed and cursed by the same thing: Freedom.

Freedom is relative to the amount of imagination a person has within a free society, to do and think and say what is allowed of them within it. What better way of controlling a free society than to encourage and allow outside forces to dictate what is acceptable. Of course, having strong and mentally healthy minds that make their own decisions, is increasingly unfashionable. Only the elite should have this ability. In fact, many roles in society cannot be filled by people who claim to have strong, mentally healthy minds. The rest, who are, by a defined opposition to healthy, are unhealthy, may not be able to cope, and thus need a specific structure and inclination to be 'nannied' and told what to do. Weak sheeple who have given up their humanity for the relative 'freedom' of being allowed to live and eat and fuck without thinking or speaking freely.

Anyway,

Failure is a concept that is relative as well. I have believed for a very long time that I am a failure, either overtly or sub-consciously. However, I have proven to myself that I am actually, successful, and, strangely, I feel successful too. It is not a false sense. There are no physical measuring sticks that hover over us, but if you choose to judge yourself by an external measuring stick, created either by society, your parents, or friends, then obviously, it is very easy to think of yourself as a failure if you can't, won't, or haven't managed to make it to that number, paper, or position.

My benchmark is myself. Am I better than I have been in the past? Invariably, yes.
Does that make me a healthy person? Definitely, Yes.
No one has the right to judge me, though they may, and must do. But the judgement is the application of their own measuring stick to me. So, I can't be measured, and that is not failure, that is, in a different reality, the inability to be measured. Hah! I try my best to not judge people. It is none of my business. I only need to be concerned about my own progress, and the progress of people who ask for my advice.

So, the lessons I have recently learned, though simple, and despite the fact that they are in every self development book, and probably advice given by moms and dads, uncles and aunts, sisters and brothers everywhere, needed a lot of experience to gain.

1) Respect is earned. The simplest way to receive it is to give it explicitly to the people who you expect to give it to you.
2) The easiest way to get no respect, is to expect it without giving any first.
3) The result of this simple procedure for gaining respect, is access to a vast and incredible resource: Another human being's willingness to help and aid you when you need it.
4) Everything is relative: Therefore, consider yourself relative to another, but validate yourself relative only to yourself. Considering and deeply understanding the fact that every moment that you are still alive is a success, then everything you do beyond that is a by-product of being successful at living.
5) Family is the most important relationship to have. To consider having successful relationships without having a solid family one is like trying to pour tea into a broken cup. No matter what you do outside, there will always be a piece of you broken off.
6) Communication is imperative. There are a million permutations of how you can communicate the same message. One of those ways will allow you to be understood.
7) Being understood is the key principle of co-operative life with fellow human beings. Sometimes the problem is that you just haven't learned another's lingo. Being able to adapt to understand what thought-stream a person is in, and to be able to ride on it with the right equipment is imperative to reaching the logical conclusions that are necessary for you to communicate with them.
8) Assertiveness means being able to communicate with an absence of anger, and to be able to transcend self censorship.

These are some of the great leaps of personal growth that I have experienced over the past 2 months. I am very grateful for the people who have allowed me to learn from them, or their mistakes, as I transitioned.

Continuing to grow, I have attained a great asset: Self-Knowledge

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